It's 2003. Why Can't I Teleport?

The Last Person To Get Across That Town In Under Three Hours Was Yelling "the British Are Coming! The British Are Coming!"

Glenn Beck Is Offended! Glenn Beck Thinks Playing The Nazi Card Is Going Too Far. Glenn Beck. This Is A Guy Who Uses More Swastika Props And Video Of The Nuremberg Rallies Than The History Channel.

It's 2003. Why Can't I Teleport?

Wow, You Survived A Blackout. You're Made Of Stronger Stuff Than Ice Cream.

I've Got Stress Like Anybody Else, And It Builds Up During The Day. Like, I'll Be Trying To Do Something On The Computer, And I'll Get Stuck ,so I Go To The Help Section. And It Just Enrages Me, Because Why Even Call It A Help Section At All? There's Nothing In Any Way 'helpful' About It.