It's Tough Having The Last Name Rickles.

I Never Went Out Looking For Glory.

I've Never Been Able To Tell Jokes. In The Beginning Of My Career I Did Impressions And Jokes Like Any Other Comedian, But I Was Never Very Successful Because I Did It Poorly. So I Started To Talk To The Audience And Started Talking About The Atmosphere Around Me And Started To Become Angry, Not In A Mean-spirited Way, But In A Fun Way - And My Attitude Developed From There.

The Old Days Were The Old Days. And They Were Great Days. But Now Is Now.

I Have A Problem, If The Light Goes On On Tv And It Blinks Midnight, I Don't Know How To Fix It.

Every Night When I Go Out On Stage, There's Always One Nagging Fear In The Back Of My Mind. I'm Always Afraid That Somewhere Out There, There Is One Person In The Audience That I'm Not Going To Offend!