It's That I Wasn't Suited To Do

Golf And Dating Don't Mix.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

If I Wasn't A Golfer, I Would Still Be Miserable - But Not As Miserable.

I Wanted To Make A Living, But I Really Was Not Interested In Money At All. I Was Interested In Being A Great Comedian.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.