It's Not Called Cocaine Any More. It's

How Many Watched The President's Speech Last Night? [half-hearted Audience Applause] How Many Watched American Idol ? [thundering Applause] Okay, There You Go! You Get The Government You Deserve.

Thanksgiving, When The Indians Said, "well, This Has Been Fun, But We Know You Have A Long Voyage Back To England".

A Student At The University Of Wisconsin In Madison Spent 90 Days Technology Free. He Went Without A Cell Phone, Facebook, Twitter, Or Any Social Media Of Any Kind. And You Know What Really Improved? His Driving!

John Kerry Was The Big Winner In Iowa. Ted Kennedy Introduced Kerry As The 'comeback Kid.' That Used To Be Bill Clinton's Name - Because Every Time He Would Come Back To A City, He Would Find Out If He Had A Kid Or Not.

Family Planning Experts Are Now Recommending Giving Men Vasectomy Gift Cards For The Holidays. Talk About Taking The Jingle Out Of The Bells.