It's Not Called Cocaine Any More. It's

Starbuck's Is Going To Start Selling Instant Coffee. This Is For People Who Want The Quality Of Sanka, But Want To Pay The High Starbuck's Price.

The Hot Gossip In Washington Is That Condoleezza Rice Might Have A New Boyfriend. Secretary Of State Rice Is Being Linked To Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter Mackay. It's Gotta Be Awkward Dating A Fellow Diplomat. Like Today, Mackay Had To Promise Condi He Would Get Permission From The U.n. Before He Invaded Her.

According To Kim Jong-il's Biography, They Say He Has Been Constantly Accused Of Dishonesty, Drunkenness And Sexual Excess. So If He Lived Here, He Could Be In Congress.

Well, It Looks Like John Boehner Will Be The New Speaker Of The House. He Is The Son Of A Bartender, One Of 12 Children. He Grew Up In A Two Room Home With Just One Bathroom, Worked His Way Through School, Became The First Person In His Family To Graduate From College. And, Sadly, Fell In With The Wrong Crowd And Wound Up In Congress.

In The Enron Scandal, Whistleblower Sherron Watkins Is Now Calling Herself Enron Brokovitch. She Testified Ken Lay Was Duped By The Other Executives. Oh, Yeah. When Is The Last Time You Got Duped And Made $100 Million?