President Bush Said Global Warming Is Happening

Go Through Your Phone Book, Call People And Ask Them To Drive You To The Airport. The Ones Who Will Drive You Are Your True Friends. The Rest Aren't Bad People; They're Just Acquaintances.

Well, The Big Story -- Hillary Clinton Will Be Running For President In 2008. You Know Why I Think She's Running? I Think She Finally Wants To See What It's Like To Sleep In The President's Bed.

We Should Make Politicians Dress Like Race Car Drivers -- When They Get Money, Make Them Wear The Company Logos On Their Suit.

After Saying The Jobs Bill Is Paid For, President Obama Now Says That It Will Be Paid For By Raising Taxes Over 10 Years. I Can't Figure Out If He's The Kind Of Guy Who Makes Infomercials, Or The Kind Of Guy Who Falls For Infomercials.

A Libyan Rebel Has Admitted To Killing Moammar Gadhafi. He Said He Shot Gadhafi Twice In The Temple, To Which Michele Bachmann Said, "i Didn't Even Know The Guy Was Jewish.