It's Hard To Enjoy Practical Jokes When

Ptah? Son Of Ptooey? What Is He God Of Spitting? I Asked

He [death] Pulled A Pure-black Ipad From Thin Air. Death Tapped The Screen A Few Times And All Frank Could Think Was: Please Don't Let There Be An App For Reading Souls

It Was Almost Enough To Make Me Turn Vegetarian, Except For The Pesky Fact That I Loved Cheeseburgers.

I Am Never, Ever, Going To Make Things Easy For You, Seaweed Brain. Get Used To It.

The Real Story Of The Fleece: There Were These Two Children Of Zeus, Cadmus And Europa, Okay? They Were About To Get Offered Up As Human Sacrifices, When They Prayed To Zeus To Save Them. So Zeus Sent This Magical Flying Ram With Golden Wool, Which Picked Them Up In Greece And Carried Them All The Way To Colchis In Asia Minor. Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important." "it Was Probably Important To Her.