It's All Been Satirized For Your Protection.

If Conservatives Get To Call Universal Healthcare 'socialized Medicine,' I Get To Call Private, For-profit Healthcare 'soulless, Vampire Bastards Making Money Off Human Pain.'

In New York Now, They Have Harvey Milk High School For Gay Students. They Don't Have Much Of A Football Team, But The Half-time Show . . .

I'm Against Suing Tobacco Companies. I Think Abstinence Is A Perversion. I Think Bush's Lies Are Worse Than Clinton's. I Think Vegas Was Better When It Was Run By The Mob. I Think Men Are Only As Loyal As Their Options. I Think Stereotypes Are True And Rehab Is For Quitters.

Halloween Is A Day When We All Get To Fool People Into Thinking We're Someone Else. Or As Mitt Romney Calls It, Campaigning.

Herman Cain Answered The Wall Street Protesters, And He Had A Message For These Protesters. He Said, 'if You Don't Have A Job, If You're Not Rich, Don't Blame Wall Street, Don't Blame The Banks, Blame Yourself.' And A Nation Of Out Of Work Teabaggers Said, 'yeah! Hey, Wait A Minute.'