It's All About The Script. Reality Is

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

During A Charity Boxing Match On Friday, Mitt Romney Lasted Two Rounds Against Evander Holyfield And Raised A Million Dollars. It Was Just Like Holyfield's Fight With Mike Tyson, Except Romney Chewed Off His Other Ear Talking About His 18 Grandchildren.

Live Your Life By Doing Activities That Are Beneficial

Christine O'donnell Released A Commercial In Which She Says, 'i'm Not A Witch.' That's Pretty Good, Though Not As Effective As Her Opponent's Slogan, 'i'm Not Christine O'donnell.'

Scott Walker's Campaign Slogan Is 'reform. Growth. Safety.' Which Is Actually Similar To Donald Trump's New Slogan: 'mexico. Money. Crazy.'