It's A Lie, But Heaven Will Forgive

What We Call Creative Work, Ought Not To Be Called Work At All, Because It Isn't. I Imagine That Thomas Edison Never Did A Day's Work In His Last Fifty Years.

The Minute A Man Is Convinced He Is Interesting, He Isn't.

Presently I Shall Be Introduced As 'this Venerable Old Gentleman' And The Axe Will Fall When They Raise Me To The Degree Of 'grand Old Man'. That Means On Our Continent Any One With Snow-white Hair Who Has Kept Out Of Jail Till Eighty.

Humor May Be Defined As The Kindly Contemplation Of The Incongruities Of Life, And The Artistic Expression Thereof.

A Barber Is By Nature And Inclination A Sport. He Can Tell You At What Exact Hour The Ball Game Is To Begin, Can Foretell Its Issue Without Losing A Stroke Of The Razor, And Can Explain The Points Of Inferiority Of All The Players, As Compared With The Better Men That He Has Personally Seen Elsewhere, With The Nicety Of A Professional.