It Will Never Be Perfect, But Perfect

I Don't Know How Many More Movies I'm Going To Get The Opportunity To Make And I Don't Want To Look Back And Go: "man, I Just Floated Through That One." Or: "i Did That One For The Money." I Want To Be Able To Say That I Worked As A Hard As I Could And I Did The Best Work That I Could Do.

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

I Went Through A Phase Where I Was Sick Of Acting, I Didn't Want To Do It Anymore, I Was Bored With It And Then I Tried Directing A Movie And I Was Like: "shoot, Get Back Over There!" It Made Me Appreciate Acting More.

I Want Every Day To Be The Most Boring News Day Ever. I Want Every Day To Be About Spelling Bee Champions And Baby Basketball. It's Better To Have No Comedy Material Than A Horrific News Day.

I'm Not A Fan Of Purposely Farting In Front Of Other People. If You Have To Fart, Leave The Room.