It Takes A Level Of Creative Depression

I Don't Do Emoticons Unless I'm Making A Big Deal Out Of Them. I'll Type Out, 'this Is So Amusing It Makes Me Want To Grin In Pixels.' And Then Do It.

I Spent A Lot Of Time Waiting For Things To Happen To Me, Which Is More Or Less As Pathetic As It Sounds.

Kids Across The Country Have Grown Up Accepting The Idea That No One Can Harm Your Family If At Least One Of Its Adult Members Is In The Shower. No One Knows Why.

Okay, This Is Fran Lebowitz. She Gave An Interview Once For The Paris Review About Trying To Write Fiction And Saying That Fiction Writers Start Talking About How Characters Are Talking To Them, And It's Crazy, She's Never Had That. And I Also Thought, I'm Never Gonna Be Able To Do This, Because I Didn't Feel That For A Really Long Time.

Picture It In Your Mind's Nostril: You Get In A Cab In Time To Catch Twin Thugs Named Vomit And Cologne Assaulting A Defenseless Pine-tree Air Freshener.