It Seems That Man's Greatest Natural Enemy

I'm A Producer On My Show, Which Is Great, But It's Also Kind Of A Mixed Blessing Because There's So Much Responsibility. Everything Is A Decision. You Have To Worry About The Money, You Have To Worry About Daylight, Who We're Going To Cast And If This Location Doesn't Work Out, What Are We Going To Do?

100% Of The People Who Give 110% Do Not Understand Math.

If I Think Of A Joke That's Really Dirty And I Think It's Funny I'll Try It But What I've Found Over The Years Is They Just Don't Laugh. It Doesn't Work Coming Out Of My Mouth So It's Like They Taught Me 'don't Do That. Don't Go That Way Or You'll Lose Me.'

My Credit Card Company Says I Have An Outstanding Balance. I'm Flattered.

The Problem With My Balloon Collection Is That People Always Think There's A Party. Settle Down. It's Not A Party. It's Just Balloons.