It Really Drives Me Banana Sangwich.

I'm Fine, I Am Just Going To Go Over Here And Puke Shards Of My Own Pelvis Into This Bush.

I Do Think I Am Funny, Or I Wouldn't Be Where I Am Today. I Do Think There Is Always Room For Improvement And Learning.

I Love Hecklers. They Remind You That You Are A Comedian.

We're All Gonna Lie, We're All Gonna Cry, And We're All Gonna Take Painful Shits.

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.