It Is Only When They Go Wrong

"nationwide" Featured An Amazing Collection Of Apprentice Impersonators. From All Over Britain, Schoolchildren Materialised Via Local Studios To Give Us Their Imitations Of The Mighty. There Were At Least Three Uncannily Accurate Margaret Thatchers, Their Eyelids Fatigued With Condescension And Their Voices Swooping And Whining Like Dive-bombers.

Murray Sounds Like A Blindfolded Man Riding A Unicycle On The Rim Of The Pit Of Doom, The Men Actually Facing The Danger Are All So Taciturn That You Might As Well Try Interviewing The Cars Themselves.

When I Was Very Young, One Of My Favourite Books Was Captain's Courageous And I Suppose One Of The Reasons I Loved It, It Was A Life I Knew I Should Have Had, Learning All The Different Bits Of The Ship And Learning To Catch Fish And Rig Sails And To -all The Things That I Never Learned And I Never Learned The Discipline, But I Hungered After It.

As Far As Talent Goes, Marilyn Monroe Was So Minimally Gifted As To Be Almost Unemployable, And Anyone Who Holds To The Opinion That She Was A Great Natural Comic Identifies Himself Immediately As A Dunce.

As A Work Of Art, It Reminds Me Of A Long Conversation Between Two Drunks