It Can Take Years. With The First

When Forced To Leave My House For An Extended Period Of Time, I Take My Typewriter With Me, And Together We Endure The Wretchedness Of Passing Through The X-ray Scanner. The Laptops Roll Merrily Down The Belt, While I’m Instructed To Stand Aside And Open My Bag. To Me It Seems Like A Normal Enough Thing To Be Carrying, But The Typewriter’s Declining Popularity Arouses Suspicion And I Wind Up Eliciting The Sort Of Reaction One Might Expect When Traveling With A Cannon. It’s A Typewriter,’ I Say. ‘you Use It To Write Angry Letters To Airport Security.

Sometimes The Sins You Haven't Committed Are All You Have Left To Hold Onto.

States Vote To Take Away My Marriage Rights, And Even Though I Don't Want To Get Married, It Tends To Hurt My Feelings. I Guess What Bugs Me Is That It Was Put To A Vote In The First Place. If You Don't Want To Marry A Homosexual, Then Don't. But What Gives You The Right To Weigh In On Your Neighbor's Options? It's Like Voting Whether Or Not Redheads Should Be Allowed To Celebrate Christmas.

Like All Of My Friends, She's A Lousy Judge Of Character.

I Had To Wrestle Daily With Both My Inadequacy And My Uncontrollable Jealousy. I Didn't Want To Kill Her, But Hoped Someone Else Might Do The Job For Me.