It Always Freaks Me Out When I

According To The New York Post, Lance Armstrong And Ashley Olsen Are Dating. They Must Be Getting Serious - Lance Gave Ashley His Yellow Live Strong Bracelet. She Wears It As A Belt.

I Don't Think The Problem Is Telling People You're On A Diet. The Problem Is Eating Ice Cream For Breakfast.

I Know They Don't Recommend Ibuprofen During Pregnancy, But You Needed Something Fast For The Hangovers.

You Know What They Say, When One Door Closes, Another Belvedere Opens.

Whoever Calls And Asks Me To Do Stuff And Obviously, With Having Your Own Tv Show, People Want You To Get Involved. They Know You're A Stand-up Comedian So They're Always Looking For Somebody Funny To Host An Event.