You Do Not Own A Dog. You

The Last Time A Straight Man Worked In The Fashion Industry, We Got A Fanny Pack.

It Became Clear When I Got In My Car That Persians Are Only Really Good For Two Things. Oil And Hummus.

I Hate When Men Think That Money Is Gonna Buy You Happiness... I Mean, It Helps.

Vomit And Feces Are Two Reason I Have Decided Not To Procreate.

I Would Never Get Married While My Father Is Still Alive Because I Wouldn't Want Him To Walk Me Down The Aisle.