Inside, I Was Like: "ha, Suck My

This Is The Man Who Called The Fire Department When The Toilet Backed Up, And I'm Asking Him For Help. What Was I Thinking? Why Am I Attracted To Weak Men?

I've Got To Think That That Was Unethical," Joshua Said. "josh, Faking Demonic Possession Is Like A Mustard Seed." "how Is It Like A Mustard Seed?" "you Don't Know, Do You? Doesn't Seem At All Like A Mustard Seed, Does It? Now You See How We All Feel When You Liken Things Unto A Mustard Seed? Huh?

Blessed Are The Meek, For To Them We Shall Say "attaboy".

Well They're Pissed Off And They're Hungry. I Was Kind Of Busy Trying Not To Get My Brains Eaten. They Seemed Pretty Adamant About The Brain-eating Thing. Then They're Going To Ikea, I Guess

...then He Looked At My T-shirt And Saw Byron's Picture On It And He Quoted "she Walks In Beauty," Which Is Like My Favorite Poem Next To The One By Baudelaire About His Girlfriend Being Nothing But Worm Food, Except That Lily Called That One First Because Baudelaire Is Her Fave Poet And So She Got The Shirt With Him On It, Even Though Byron Is Way More Scrumptious And I Would Do Him On Sharp Gravel If I Had The Chance. --from The Chronicles Of Abby Normal