In Spite Of The Poor Economy, Almost

A Survey Has Shown That The Average Man Has Had Sex In A Car 15 Times. Something To Keep In Mind Next Time You're Looking For A Used Car.

President Bush Said He Was 'troubled' By Gay People Getting Married In San Francisco. He Said On Important Issues Like This The People Should Make The Decision, Not Judges. Unless Of Course We're Choosing A President, Then He Prefers Judges.

The Catholic Church Is Still Very Angry About The Da Vinci Code - They Don't Like Anything That Makes More Money In A Weekend Than They Do.

But The Good News, The Crime Rate Is Down. Isn't That Amazing? Less Banks Are Being Robbed. Well, Sure. A, There's Less Banks. B, The Banks Don't Have Any Money Left. And C, Nobody's Got Gas Money For The Getaway Car. So, Right There, Crime Is Down!

Well, It Looks Like We've Moved A Step Closer To War. Not With Iraq. With France And Germany. How Did We Screw That One Up?