In My Youth, I Wanted To Be

A Smile Is A Curve Which Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight.

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

I Do Not Have A Single White Note On My Piano; My Elephant Smoked Too Much.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.