In My Stories, I Think, As I've

I Think I Hoped For Something More. Maybe I Even Hoped That I Could Find In Richard What I Had With Ben. But It Is Suddenly Very Clear: Richard Is Not Fallin In Love With Me And I'm Not Falling In Love With Richard. We Are Not Creating Anything Permanent Or Special. We Are Only Having Fun Together. It Is A Fling- A Fling Just Like He Said Last Night- A Fling With An Ending Yet To Be Determined. I Feel Relieved To Have It Defined

Even If We No Longer Have Much In Common, We Would Have Always Had The Past, Which, In Some Ways, Is Just As Important As The Present Or Future. It Is Where We Come From, What Makes Us Who We Are.

I Have One Final Hope, If I Get Double Sixes, Maybe He Will Change His Mind, Come Back To Me. As If To Cast A Magic Spell, I Blow On The Dice Just As Dex Did...just As It Happened With Our First Roll, One Die Lands Before Its Mate. On A Six! I Hold My Breath. For A Brief Second, I See A Mess Of Dots, And Think I Have Boxcars Again. I Kneel, Staring At The Second Die. It Is Onle A Five. I Have Rolled An Eleven, It Is As If Someone Is Mocking Me, Saying, Close, But No Dice.

You See Yourself As Very Average, Ordinary. And There Is Nothing Ordinary About You, Rachel." (something Borrowed)

But I Am Content To Live In The Moment, And Allow Myself The Daily Pleasure Of Obsessing. Nothing Lasts Forever, I Tell Myself. Especially The Good Stuff. Although Typically You Aren't Faced With A Hard Deadline