In His Speech President Bush Said We

A Survey Released Today Found That Men Spend Twice As Much On Their Mistresses For Christmas As They Do On Their Wives. On The Other Hand, Men Spend Half Their Income On The Wives When The Wife Finds Out About The Mistress. So It All Balances Out.

One Of The Interpreters Hired By Cbs For The Dan Rather/saddam Hussein Interview Adopted A Phony Arabic Accent. You Know, Maybe Cbs Should Have Hired Somebody With A Fake Dan Rather Accent To Ask Tougher Questions.

Rick Perry Was Philosophical About (his Election Losses). He Said, 'last Week Was Iowa. Yesterday Was New Hampshire. ' He Said At Least It's Giving Him A Chance To Learn The Names Of All The States.

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton Is Now Facing A Kind Of Personal Dilemma. She Can't Decide Whether To Drop The Name Clinton From Her Name, Or Drop The Name Rodham. They Can't Figure Out Which One Is More Embarrassing.

Remember The Good Old Days When The Only Bomb You Had To Worry About On A Plane Was The Rob Schneider Movie?