Arnold Schwarzenegger Made His Tax Returns Public,

Ratings For The Xfl Are So Low That Pretty Soon They'll Be Able To Address The Viewers By Name.

A Team Of British Lawyers Has Now Concluded That The Declaration Of Independence Was Illegal, And The American Colonies Had No Right To Secede From England. Well, You Thought Our Court System Was Backed Up.

According To The New York Times, The Mob Has Now Gotten Into Medicare Fraud. But The Good News Is, When They Do Break Your Legs There's A Good Chance You're Covered.

The Secret Service Has Announced It Is Doubling Its Protection For John Kerry. You Can Understand Why - With Two Positions On Every Issue, He Has Twice As Many People Mad At Him.

Did You Hear About The Dog That Was So High-strung, He Developed A Nervous Tick?