In Germany, Salads Are Assemblies Of Ham

The Reason We All Need A Mutton Alert, Which Needs Constant Testing, Like Smoke Alarms, Is Because There Is Really No Such Thing As Age-appropriate Dressing Any Longer, As I Know Because My Wardrobe Is Interchangeable With My Daughter's.

I Do Not Think That Having Children - I Have Three Teenagers - Keeps You Young. The Reverse. It Thrusts You Into A Full-frontal Confrontation With Your Own All-too-obvious Maturity.

Of Course I'm Naughty. I've Always Had To Compete For Attention, You See.

Being Blonde, For Me, Means Never Having To Say: 'i'll Have The Honey-striped Half-head Of Highlights For £200,' To A Bored Colourist In A Mayfair Salon, Which Is Much More Satisfying, Not To Mention Cheap.

There Was A Time When No Difficult Subjects Were Ever Aired In The 'lady', And Sadly, Life Isn't Like That.