In All The Woes That Curse Our

Oh, Don't The Days Seem Lank And Long When All Goes Right And Nothing Goes Wrong, And Isn't Your Life Extremely Flat With Nothing Whatever To Grumble At!

Oh, I Am A Cook And A Captain Bold, And The Mate Of The Nancybrig, And A Bos'sun Tight, And A Midshipmite, And The Crew Of The Captain's Gig!

Though I'm Anything But Clever, I Could Talk Like That Forever.

Things Are Seldom What They Seem.

I Am, In Point Of Fact, A Particularly Haughty And Exclusive Person, Of Pre-adamite Ancestral Descent. You Will Understand This When I Tell You That I Can Trace My Ancestry Back To A Protoplasmal Primordial Atomic Globule.