I'm Used To Explaining To People Why

The Pressure To Being A Comedian Is Being Funny, But I've Given That Up, So There Is No Pressure Whatsoever.

Every Time I Give A Straight Answer And Read It In A Magazine, I Say, 'ouch.' One Day I'd Like To Talk To A Psychoanalyst About Why Celebrities Reveal So Much Of Themselves In Interviews.

I'm Eventually Gonna Take The Daryl Hannah Parts.

Reality Tv Has Totally Destroyed Soap Operas. They're Gone. They Used To Be The Biggest Thing In The World - They're Gone.

A Man Goes To The Doctor For A Check, And The Doctor Exams Him And Says I've Got Bad News, You've Got Cancer And Alzheimers. The Man Goes Thank God I Don't Have Cancer.