I'm Terrible When I Have To Fill

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'

If A Comedian Tells A Joke That You Find Funny, You Laugh. If He Tells A Joke You Do Not Find Funny, Dont Laugh. Or You Could Possibly Go As Far As Groaning Or Rolling Your Eyes. Then You Wait For His Next Joke; If Thats Funny, Then You Laugh. If Its Not, You Dont Laugh - Or At Very Worst, You Can Leave Quietly.

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?

I'm One Of Those People, In Any Country I'm In, If Somebody Could Just Put Me In A Car Or A Bus, I'll Look Out The Window And Say, 'ok, There's The Tower Of London, There's Buckingham Palace, There's Big Ben,' And If It All Takes About Five Minutes, Perfect. I've Seen All Of It And I Can Go Home.