I'm So Secretive That When Someone Asks

Count Your Blessings, But Not Out-loud, At The Top Of Your Lungs.

I Don't Like Thank You Cards Because I Don't Know What Else To Say. What Do I Put On The Inside? See Front.

If I Have To Move Up In A Building, I Choose The Elevator Over The Escalator. Because One Time I Was Riding The Escalator And I Tripped. I Fell Down The Stairs For An Hour And A Half.

If You Drink Enough Beer, Everything Turns In To A Bed.

If You Happen To Catch On Fire During The Show, Do Not Panic Or Wave Your Arms Around Or Scream Or We Wil Give Something To Panic And Wave You Arms Around And Scream About.