I'm Short Enough And Ugly Enough To

I'm Awash In Self-contempt!

I Am Told The Settlement Of $5 Million I Am Being Paid Is The Largest Amount Ever Paid Under The New York Right To Privacy Law

I've Never Dated A Fictional Character Before. The Closest I Ever Came Was An Italian.

I Loathed Every Day And Regret Every Moment I Spent In A School.

I Was Raised In The Jewish Tradition, Taught Never To Marry A Gentile Woman, Shave On A Saturday Night And, Most Especially, Never To Shave A Gentile Woman On A Saturday Night.