I'm Primarily Just An Investor.

In Japan, Employees Occasionally Work Themselves To Death. It’s Called Karoshi. I Don’t Want That To Happen To Anybody In My Department. The Trick Is To Take A Break As Soon As You See A Bright Light And Hear Dead Relatives Beckon.

The Dilbert Principle: People Are Idiots.

If You Think It's Easy To Write Jokes About Fried Calamari, You've Probably Never Tried.

Moslem: People Who Believe Suicide Is A Good Way To Get Laid.

As A Rule, I Don't Like To Laugh At The Misfortune Of Others. The Exception To That Rule Is If It's Really, Really Funny.