I'm Nothing If Not An Optimist.

The Japanese Prime Minister Has Apologized For Japan's Part In World War Ii. However, He Still Hasn't Mentioned Anything About Karaoke.

At The White House, They Caught Another Fence Jumper Earlier Today. It Was Obama Trying To Get Out.

You'll Never Catch A Nudist With His Pants Down.

And Tar Is Washing Up Onto The Beaches - Big Globs Of Tar. And People Are Saying, 'is That Going To Ruin Our Summer At The Beach?' No, Of Course Not. You Take The Big Blobs Of Tar And You Use Them To Hold Down Your Blanket.

I Hate Decaffeinated Coffee. It's Useless Brown Water.