I'm Not Wearing A Golden Sombrero.

I've Got Volumes On How Not To Behave. I've Got More Information Now Than A Guy Should Have At My Age.

It Ain't A Party Til Something Gets Broken.

It's Definitely Safer To Be Single, Especially With This Cottage Industry That's Devoted To Extorting Celebrities.

Steroids Build Your Muscles, But They Don't Build Your Tendons Or Ligaments.

The Best Way To Not Get Your Heart Broken, Is Pretending You Don't Have One.