I'm Not Really A Celebrity; I'm Just

I Interviewed Matt [stone] And Trey [parker], Actually, And I Got To Ask Them Questions. I Love Them Deeply Because They Appeared Dressed As J-lo And Someone Else [who Had Worn The Same Scandalous Dresses The Year Before At The Oscars]. They Confessed They Were On Acid.

I Believe In The Separation Of Church And Planet.

Life Has A Very Simple Plot: First You're Here And Then You're Not.

At Cambridge, You Have To Kiss The Vice-chancellor's Fingers. But I Missed Out On That, 'cause I Was Doing A Matinee. I Don't Want To Kiss A Strange Man's Fingers Anyway.

Life Doesn't Make Any Sense, And We All Pretend It Does. Comedy's Job Is To Point Out That It Doesn't Make Sense, And That It Doesn't Make Much Difference Anyway.