I'm Not Invited To Any Exciting Parties

I've Got Loads Of Nieces And Nephews.

I Was Still Using My Eyes Even Though I Had Them Shut.

She Gave Me The Jabs And Said I Was Covered For Every Worst-case Scenario, Including Being Bitten By A Dirty Chimp. I Told Her This Is Why We Have Over-population Problems. Why Are Idiots Who Annoy Dirty Chimps Being Protected?

Fishing: I Don't Really Like It. I Don't Really Like The Expression On The Fish's Face.

The Elephant Man Would Never Have Gotten Up And Gone, ‘oh, God. Look At Me Hair Today.’