I'm Not Going To Vacuum 'til Sears

A Guy Is A Lump Like A Doughnut. So, First You Gotta Get Rid Of All The Stuff His Mom Did To Him. And Then You Gotta Get Rid Of All That Macho Crap That They Pick Up From Beer Commercials. And Then There's My Personal Favorite, The Male Ego.

Two Things Do Me In: One's Chocolate Cake, The Other's Hypocrisy.

My Husband Says, 'roseanne, Don't You Think We Ought To Talk About Our Sexual Problems?' Like I'm Gonna Turn Off Wheel Of Fortune For That.

I Was Not Raised A Zionist, But A Socialist, As Were Most Jews Before The Holocaust.

I Had - After I Sang The 'star Spangled Banner' So Badly, After My Tragic Singing Accident, After That, You Know, All My Stuff Kind Of, Like, Really Got Even More Full Blown And, You Know, I Got Stage Fright And, You Know, I Couldn't Do Stand-up Anymore And Let Alone Sing And All The Other Things.