I'm Not An Hour Late. You Guys

If I Had A Billion Dollars I Would...oh Wait...already Do.

There Is One Person I Can Think Of Better Than Me. And That's Zach Braff. What A Cool Guy.

People Always Tell Me I Should Run For President, But I Don't Think They'd Give Me Enough Time Off To Make My Films.

If A Benevolent God Exists, So Does Reincarnation. He Wouldn't Send Me Here Just Once.

I'm Not Gay, But I'm Still The Kind Of Guy Where, Even Though You Have No Chance, They Still Want To Hang Around Me So You Can Get A Good Mental Image And Jerk Off To Me Later.