I'm Not Always Looking For The Laugh.

I Don't Think Human Beings Learn Anything Without Desperation. Desperation Is A Necessary Ingredient To Learning Anything Or Creating Anything. Period. If You Ain't Desperate At Some Point, You Ain't Interesting.

If I Had Never Ventured Beyond Being A Stand-up Comic, Then I Would Be Sitting In My House Today Working On My Leonardo Dicaprio Impression.

I'm Very Serious About No Alcohol, No Drugs. Life Is Too Beautiful.

What’s Yours? How Will You Serve The World? What Do They Need That Your Talent Can Provide? That’s All You Have To Figure Out.

My Mother Was A Professional Sick Person; She Took A Lot Of Pain Pills. There Are Many People Like That. It's Just How They Are Used To Getting Attention. I Always Remember She's The Daughter Of Alcoholics Who'd Leave Her Alone At Christmas Time.