I'm Not A Fatalist; Even If I

Coming Up With A Funny Joke Is Like Falling In Love: It Can Hit You Any Time, Anywhere. Having Said That, The More You Put Yourself Out There, The Better Your Odds Will Be.

My Ex-girlfriend Was Very Sexy. She Reminded Me Of The Sphinx Because She Was Very Mysterious And Eternal And Solid...and Her Nose Was Shot Off By French Soldiers.

I Try Not To Talk During The Day When I Have A Show That Night. My Voice Is My Instrument, Just Like A Saxophonist's Instrument Is His Saxophone, Plus Also His Voice, If He's The One Between Tunes That Makes Announcements.

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

People Come Up To Me And Say, 'emo, Do People Really Come Up To You?'