I'm Not A Comic. I'm A Humorist.

My Wife And I Went To Jail In Selma. The Difference When I Was Back There Recently? White Folks? No. Black Folks Who Were Not Scared. I Was Behind The President This Time. When I Was A Little Boy And Ran Around With Trifling Dudes, I Was The Only One Scared Of Dogs. And I Was Bitten 14 Times! Dogs Smell Scared. And That's The Same Thing With People: 50 Years Ago They Smelled Fear. There Was No Fear This Time.

The Free Man Is The Man With No Fears.

Once We Used To Have To Crank Up Our Cars, Now You Can Pop It On From Inside Your House. Everything Has Changed Except How We Get Freedom.

A Klaner Kkk Is A Cat Who Gets Out Of Bed In The Middle Of The Night And Takes His Sheet With Him.

...humans Were The Only Creatures In The World That Ate Their Food Cooked. You'd Never Find A Gorilla Frying Up Some Bananas For Dinner Or A Lion Charcoal-broiling A Zebra Steak. Cats Don't Often Run To The Oven With A Mouse Or Bird They've Captured, And A Dog Wouldn't Naturally Prepare Its Rabbit Dinner In A Stew.