I'm Having A Nice Cold Pint And

Change Gear, Change Gear, Check Mirror, Murder A Prostitute, Change Gear, Change Gear, Murder. That's A Lot Of Effort In A Day.

Racing Cars Which Have Been Converted For Road Use Never Really Work. It's Like Making A Hard Core Adult Film, And Then Editing It So That It Can Be Shown In British Hotels. You'd Just End Up With A Sort Of Half Hour Close Up Of Some Bloke's Sweaty Face.

If The Scottish Want To Break Away, I Shall Stand On Hadrian's Wall With A Teary Handkerchief, And Say: 'good Riddance To The Lot Of You, And Take Your Stupid Bagpipes With You.'

I Like To Be Loved By My Children, And I Quite Like The Guardian Hating Me.

Biathletes Need To Eat 6.000 Calories A Day: Six Thousand! That's The Equivalent Of 2 Pounds Of Butter, 70 Slices Of Bread, 112 Eggs, 86 Tabs Of Yogurts, 28 Potatoes, 117 Biscuits And 21 Twix Bars. On That Basis, I Could Be An Olympic Biathlete!