Begin Your Story With A Sentence That

I'd Just Much Rather See An Ugly Person Take The Trash Out Than See Somebody Really Pretty Taking The Trash Out.

I Don't Really Consider Myself To Be A Comedian. I Mean, It's Not Like I'm Sitting Around Writing Jokes Or Anything. I Just Like Dressing Up And Pretending To Be Other People.

I've Been To Some Funerals Where There's A Lot Of Laughing - It's About Celebrating Their New Journey. I Can't Think Of Anything. There's Humor In Everything. There's Gotta Be Humor In Everything.

I Cried When I Had No Shoes, Until I Met A Man Who Had No Feet. And Then I Laughed Really Hard.

I Want Witchcraft So Bad That I Can't Stand It. I Have Wands In My Apartment. And I Use Them Sometimes. I Walk Into The Kitchen With My Wand, And I Come Out With Something On A Platter And I Say, 'see, Magic Happens.' Works Every Time.