I'm Enough Of An Optimist And A

It's Such A Deliberate Thing To Sit Down And Write A Tweet. You're Putting Yourself Out There In A Very Deliberate Way, And Over However Many Tweets, You Start To Create A Character For Yourself.

I'll Never Admit That I'm An Actor, Because The Next Horrible Follow-up Question Is Always, "oh, What Have I Seen You In?"

I Don't Think I Was Awake For Much Of My Childhood. I Did A Lot Of Napping. This Might Have Been A Defensive Measure Against Encroaching Depression. Until About The Age Of Eleven Or Twelve, I Had Zero Interests Other Than Trying To Steal Gumballs From Supermarket Gumball Machines.

My Process Is Surprisingly Straightforward. I Find Myself With Little To Do Over A Stretch Of Time And I Say, "i Should Write Children's Books Today." Then I Sit Down And Write A Children's Book, And If It Takes More Than, Realistically, Three Hours, I Feel Like I've Done Something Wrong.

I Can Be A Snarky Asshole, Or I Can Be Sort Of Mentally Impaired. It's Very Hard For Me To Just Be Normal Human Being.