You Clap. The Censor Wakes Up. We

There Is No Thanksgiving Back In The Old Country Where I Come From. You Know Why? Because Being Thankful Is A Sin.

Thank Heaven Election Day Is Over. No More Campaign Ads, No More Mud-slinging, No More Candidates Pretending They're Straight. It's Over!

I Enjoy Bathing, As Many Europeans Don't.

Equestrian And Sailing Are Sports For People Growing Up On The Mean Streets Of Connecticut.

Santa Blows All These Shipping Companies Away. He Delivers More Than 2 Billion Packages In Just 24 Hours. He Does It By Sleigh. He Doesn't Use Tracking Numbers And Doesn't Use Trucks. He Just Uses Midgets And A Giant Bag.