I'm A Walking, Talking Enigma. We're A

I Wanted To Make A Living, But I Really Was Not Interested In Money At All. I Was Interested In Being A Great Comedian.

I've Led This Empty Life For Over Forty Years And Now I Can Pass That Heritage On And Ensure That The Misery Will Continue For At Least One More Generation.

If You Tell The Truth About How You're Feeling, It Becomes Funny.

I Still Think Of That Guy I Was Without A Wife Or Kids, And I Still Want To Entertain That Guy. The Lonely Guy, The Frustrated Guy, The Guy With No Money - This Is The Guy Who Needs To Laugh.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.