I'm A Walking, Talking Enigma. We're A

I'm Trying To Elevate Small-talk To Medium Talk.

I've Led This Empty Life For Over Forty Years And Now I Can Pass That Heritage On And Ensure That The Misery Will Continue For At Least One More Generation.

I Couldn't Be Happier That President Bush Has Stood Up For Having Served In The National Guard, Because I Can Finally Put An End To All Those Who Questioned My Motives For Enlisting In The Army Reserve At The Height Of The Vietnam War.

The Closest I Ever Came To Death Was Masturbating With A 104-degree Temperature.

I Once Stopped To Pick Up A Girl, And Then There Was This Creepy-looking Guy Standing Behind The Bushes Waiting To Jump Out And Get In, Too. So I Just Quickly Drove Away.