I'm A Revolutionary, Money Means Nothing To

England Is So Surrounded By The Boredom Of Conventionalities, That It Is All One To Them Whether Music Is Good Or Bad, Since They Have To Hear It From Morning Till Night. For Here They Have Flower-shows With Music, Dinners With Music, Sales With Music.

I Am Gay On The Outside, Especially Among My Own Folk (i Count Poles My Own); But Inside Something Gnaws At Me; Some Presentiment, Anxiety, Dreams - Or Sleeplessness - Melancholy, Indifference - Desire For Life, And The Next Instant, Desire For Death; Some Kind Of Sweet Peace, Some Kind Of Numbness, Absent-mindedness.

When One Does A Thing, It Appears Good, Otherwise One Would Not Write It. Only Later Comes Reflection, And One Discards Or Accepts The Thing. Time Is The Best Censor, And Patience A Most Excellent Teacher.

I Am Not Fitted To Give Concerts. The Audience Intimidates Me, I Feel Choked By Its Breath, Paralyzed By Its Curious Glances, Struck Dumb By All Those Strange Faces.

It's A Huge Carthusian Monastery, Stuck Down Between Rocks And Sea, Where You May Imagine Me, Without White Gloves Or Hair Curling, As Pale As Ever, In A Cell With Such Doors As Paris Never Had For Gates. The Cell Is The Shape Of A Tall Coffin, With An Enormous Dusty Vaulting, A Small Window... Bach, My Scrawls And Waste Paper - Silence - You Could Scream - There Would Still Be Silence. Indeed, I Write To You From A Strange Place.