I'm A Late-night Guy.

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

My Fam Is Just A Regular Family. But All Of Them Have Great Senses Of Humor.

I Can't Do Anything! I Can't Even Have An English Muffin!

I Don't Know If I Could Kill Someone With A Frozen Turkey Because That Is A Lot Of Evidence To Eat .... Unless I Found A Whole Room Of People Who Also Wanted That Person Dead.

I Was Very Good At Kickball ... I Was Wonderful At Ah Doing That Kick And Your Leg Goes Up And Your Shoe Went On Top Of The School