I'm A Hard-mouthed North-eastern Lad. That's Me

I Sympathize With Every Kitchen Porter.

I Never Had A Father Figure So I Never Missed It.

I'm Just A Small Guy So If I'd Dropped Any More Weight It Would Have Been A Bit Ridiculous.

I Love Anything That Kind Of Removes Me From Myself And Employs Something Else. So, I Love Accents And I Love Pretending.

I'm No Good At The One-liner Thing. It's Just Not Me.