I'm A Failed Pop Star. I Always

I Always Knew I Had To Be 100 Percent In Charge, Even When I Was A Middle Manager. I Used To Say To My Boss, "just Give Me Enough Rope And Then Fire Me."

I Like My Baths Really Deep And Hot. But Washing Everything Only Takes A Few Minutes. So I Thought It Would Be A Waste To Just Flush All That Water Away. So There Was Nothing Else To Do But Take Pictures Of Myself Trying To Look As Horrendous As Possible. Oh My, What Have I Started?

People Think That It's Fun To Meet Celebrities - But What Do You Mean By "celebrity"? Someone You Recognise? What Are They Famous For? It's People Who've Done Something That Are Exciting.

I'm A Failed Pop Star. I Always Sneak A Song Into Everything I Do.

My Greatest Hero Is Nelson Mandela. What A Man. Incarcerated For 25 Years, He Was Released In 1990 And He Hasn't Reoffended. I Think He's Going Straight, Which Shows You Prison Does Work.