If You're Looking For Perfection, Look In

The Hardest Work Of All - Doing Nothing.

A Big Cigar In A Young Face Requires The Best Of Both.

Diamonds Are Nothing More Than Chunks Of Coal That Stuck To Their Jobs.

Several Weeks Of Summer Vacation In The Thirties I Spent Working At $15 A Week In The Forbes Office.... I Worked In The Mail Cage, Where Envelopes Were Slit And Subscription Payments Extracted. Dad Used To Come Pounding Down The Office Aisle And Pause Long Enough To Ask, How Much Today? Inevitably The Answer Was Inadequate-except Once. That Day The Controller Said Excitedly, Mr. Forbes, The Ledger Shows A Slight Profit This Month! ... My Father Turned To Him And Said, Young Man, I Don't Give A Damn What Your Books Show. Do We Have Any Money In The Bank?

When A Fissure Off The California Coast Started Pumping And Dumping Oil On The Nearby Towns And Beaches, Everybody Started Dumping On Union Oil. Matters Weren't Helped One Iota By A Manufactured Quotation Attributed To Union's President, Fred Hartley, Alleging His Amazement At The Publicity For The Loss Of A Few Birds.... Fred Hartley Never Said What The Press Reported, As The Transcript And The Senate Committee Members Definitely Established. But I Don't Suppose The Truth Will Ever Catch Up With The More Colorful Falsehood.