If You're Lookin' For A Helpin' Hand,

How Can You Look At The Texas Legislature And Still Believe In Intelligent Design?

I'm Not Pro-life, And I'm Not Pro-choice. I'm Pro-football.

Politics Is The Only Field In Which The More Experience You Have, The Worse You Get.

I'm Also For Gay Marriage, Because I Say They Have Every Right To Be Just As Miserable As The Rest Of Us. Love Is Bigger Than Government. And Texas, By The Way, Has A Very Progressive Law About Gay Couples Adopting Kids. We Just Won't Let Them Get Married. So That's Not Common Sense.

All My Adult Life I've Been In The Practice Of Giving Advice To People Who Are Happier Than I Am.